Thursday, September 24, 2015

YEA LAW! WHERE IS MY FLOWER TOPPED CAKE?






Thanks for the great response on my blog, Yea Law! Where's My Purse?  After reading it a few times, I realized I had failed to mention two items I loved to eat at Grandmama's house.  Her meatloaf and her Fresh Apple Cake.

Even though it is the second day of fall and 89 degrees with low humidity, I'm busy in my AC cooled home pretending the leaves are already turning and the nights chilly enough for sitting on the deck star-gazing, with a cup of honey tea.  In reality, the leaves may be turning due to a lack of rain but an enjoyable night on the deck is still questionable, especially with a hot beverage.  Somehow, just sitting on the deck drinking Coca Cola is not appealing, for now.  But of course, I do always love my Coke.

This blog is called Randomonium for a reason.  That is the way my mind works.  Mid-sentence, walking into one room distracted from a mission or maybe waking up in the middle of the night, wondering about my purse.  I don't want to be tied to a certain style blog, unless it is my idea.

So in honor of the second day of fall, my favorite season, I'm bringing another recipe to your attention.  I hope this cake will look better than my flop three weeks ago.

This is very easy to make, everything in one bowl.  It is a stiff mix and I have been known to use manual labor to get it all together at the closing.  Except for eating the cake, the best part is the two hour wait time for cooking.  I guess I will grab a book and stay closeby in case the oven breaks or the timer goes off!

GRANDMAMA'S FRESH APPLE CAKE

Combine 3 cups flour / 2 cups sugar / 1 1/2 tsp soda / 1 tsp salt
                                           
Stir in  1 1/4 cup Wesson Oil / 1 tsp vanilla / 2 beaten eggs / 3 cups chopped apples /
            1 cup chopped pecans
                         
Grease and flour tube pan.  Bake at 275 for 2 hours.

              
Well, this cake didn't win the pretty prize either.  And there is no icing to cover up these spots.  It is delicious but one more like this and I'm out of the cake business.  I did have some flowers handy.  I have placed flower tops in the ugly spots - viola- The Flower Topped Cake.

Tested and approved by BT





Thursday, September 17, 2015

YEA LAW! WHERE'S MY PURSE?!





At 3 a.m. in the morning, everyone was sleeping soundly.  My Grandmama and Pa were visiting, sleeping in the middle room of my parents' house, the guest room.  Obviously not everyone was sleeping soundly.  Without even a whisper but a blood curdling scream saved only for life-threatening moments, Grandmama sat up in bed in the pitch dark night, screaming, "GUNTER, WHERE'S MY PURSE???"  All the lights flew on, the commotion putting the rest of the house in "danger" mode, sending everyone else scurrying to a fallout shelter.  It is funny now but to live it was another matter.  Grandmama could be kind and gentle but she could also flip a switch that brought every other activity to a halt or sleeping neighborhoods to attention.  The purse was found.  She always had a thing about her beautiful bags.  Somehow, I may have inherited both of these qualities.

Sometimes I think my lot in life is unpacking boxes.  Boxes from remodeling or boxes moved to the garage for temporary safe keeping.  Ah, the garage.  The glorious repository of all things without quick solutions.  Easy out.  Just open the kitchen door and pitch.  Maybe a professional organizer is in my future.

But good things do come in forgotten boxes.  I recently found the box holding souvenirs I have collected from my grandmother's life.  This is not a huge collection because she was the sort of person who had just what she needed and little excess except for dinnerware and family correspondence.  The original place for everything.

NRE (1909-2003) started out with a holler, on a hot, summer day in Pine Bluff, Arkansas, after the doctor had asked her father whose life to save, the mother's or the baby's.  The delivery left small scars on her little head.  She was quickly wrapped and placed on a table, unattended, while the doctor and his helper labored to save her mother.  Cassie was spared but would never have any more babies.  At some point, as the story has been told for years, the neglected baby made herself known with a big cry.  And thus, she continued for her ninety-three years, feisty and much loved from day one.

We shared a close relationship and could talk about almost anything.   Others insisted I was her favorite but I had no control in being the first grandchild born and sharing her middle name.  When I was fifteen, she shocked me for the first time.  We were walking in a dwindling downtown area.  One store offered nothing but bare mannequins posed for the empty streets.  Grandmama whispered to me, "Somebody really told her where to stick it."  I never saw her in the same way again.

Before I left for college, I drove to visit my grandparents.  She loved to shop but always with a purpose in mind.  Always the best and always her brand.  Going out required her to go upstairs to put on her rings, grab her purse and get her credit card (which she paid in full each month).  We went to the local boutique where my mother had bought her wedding dress years earlier.  Grandmama said yes to three dresses for my college wardrobe.   Her generosity was famous.

She also shared a story about her first few days in college.  Her beauty was well-known and preceded her to school.  Upon her arrival, the captain of the football team made her acquaintance and offered her any and everything on campus, with one proposition.  Again, I was shocked.  But this was her warning to me about the dangers lurking in college.

Family genealogy was a natural talent.  Every introduction included "your people" and her ability to know the chain of relations of dozens of people and families.  She would have loved computers for genealogy.  Her family was precious to her and she always cherished the life she had had with her parents.   

To the penny and with a sharp pencil, she kept up with all of my grandparents' business, from running a hotel to tracking the stock market.  My grandparents' love story began in college.  Once they married, they were equals in life and work.  Her business acumen was well advanced for a woman of her time.  Almost every visit, a large ledger was offered to family members for viewing stock fluctuations, dividends and net worth.  In another era, she could have climbed the corporate ladder.

Division among the ranks as to her cooking.  I remember being a child and wondering if my Grandmama cooked.  Didn't they all?  When she was young, her mother cooked.  When newly married, the deli cooked.  Running hotels and raising small children, the kitchen cooked.  And my Pa cooked.  But she cooked potato salad.  Pot roast.  Meatloaf.  Vegetable soup.  Angelfood cake.  Applesauce salad.  Divinity and fruitcake cookies.  Squash casserole.  Turnips.  Mrs. Smith's Apple Pie.  Popcorn.  Fritos.  Dr. Pepper.  Nobody starved.
  
Every morning of her life, she ate a banana, half a grapefruit, a bowl of Grape Nuts, orange juice and coffee.  Must have been the right combination.  She saw her doctors when necessary or for check-ups.  The only time she was hospitalized was when her two children were born.  When she died, she had never had any surgery or broken bones and was taking one or two prescriptions.  

You can be feisty and independent all of your life.  The same will that got you off the table on day one can carry you almost to the end.   With good health, luck and care, you can grow old and wise.   But being feisty or stubborn will not prevent the spider webs of dementia from running through your mind.

Stubbornness will make you say you don’t need help.   You don’t care if you lay at the bottom of the stairs dead for days.   You don’t need any medicine at all.  You can’t turn the dining room into a downstairs bedroom.   You can lie in your gown tail in bed all week.  You will fight desperately, verbally, physically, and emotionally to not go to a nursing home.

Dementia makes you call the police if your caregiver aggravates you.  You throw books at people you care about.   You scream and cry to get attention.  You lose the battle and enter a nursing home.  You tell strangers you don’t have on underwear.   You call your daughter Mama.   You don’t remember being married.   You think your parents are still living.   You deny your ninety-three years.

The last years of a very old person’s life are often not the true picture of that person.  The wonderful people who took care of her didn't know who she really was.  They did not see the beautiful face that broke hearts, or the fun loving, young mother and wife.  They did not see the countless hours she spent serving at the Red Cross in WWII.  Or the years running a hotel or helping at church.  Her sturdy shoes and turtlenecks belied the once stunning figure, impeccably dressed.  They did not know she helped her father and mother-in-law when they were sick and dying.  Or that Grandmama was sitting next to her mother when she died suddenly, unexpectedly.

She was the oldest person I have ever known.  I always wanted to ask her what it was like to be so close to heaven.  Burt's grandfather had just died and I needed to pack.  But before leaving, I felt like making the trip to see Grandmama.  The difference in a week was dramatic.  She had never been this way before.  She was leaning over in her wheelchair.  It was hard for her to talk so I did all the talking.  We held hands the whole time.  She would squeeze my hands and look at me.  I know she knew me.  I poured my heart out to her about how much she was loved,  my admiration of her.  What a wonderful life she had lived.  I talked about all of her family waiting in heaven.  As much as I would miss her, I gave her permission to let go.  Four days later, I rushed from a funeral in another state to be by her side but she left before I could get there.  

When she was born, her father had smallpox and was quarantined in a shed.  He was allowed to come to the glass window and peer in at his new baby.   Love at first sight.  Grandmama always had a wealth of love and attention.   And she returned the same.





Sunday, September 13, 2015

GROCERY LIST (A REVIEW OF FAVORITE RECIPES)

Tomato.  Bell pepper,  Vinegar.  Tea bag.  Ice.  Butter,  Sugar.  Flour.  Pumpkin.  Ginger.  Cream Cheese.  Boiled eggs.  Mayonnaise.  Ground Sirloin.  Cumin.  Tomato sauce.  Potatoes.  Cream.  Cheddar Cheese.  Olives.  Cayenne.  Old English Cheese.  Tea bag.  Clove.  Oranges.  Curry.  Green onions.  Chutney.  Cornbread.  Celery.

25 months.  Hard to believe this blog has been writing itself (ha) for two years and one month.  Amazing.  Really.

In honor of this two year occasion,  I'm looking back at the most viewed recipe posts.  This is partially out of nostalgia but also admitted vain glory, reintroducing the reader to my unsurpassed cooking prowess represented in this varied palate.

One might think a recipe is an easy out .  Inspiration or just because I was cooking that day, there is much debate about presentation, photography and active food prep.

I hope this will make you want to read a few.  Test a few.  I will lead the way through the "favorites" maze.

Bon Appetit!  Shown in order of popularity.

# 1  PEA SALAD FOR A TRUE SOUTHERN REPAST     SEPTEMBER 1, 2013

A distinct family favorite served over purple hull peas. Diced summer tomatoes, onions and green bell pepper make up this confetti for your palate.  Vinegar and sugar round out this party on a plate.  Hot sliced, buttered cornbread, purple hull peas and pea salad.  All that is southern.










#  2  PERFECT ICED TEA EVEN IN THE MORNING     AUGUST 16, 2013

An experienced cook unable to make perfect iced tea.  A sad spot in the road.  But practice makes perfect and this experiment always results in a consistently, refreshing beverage.  There is no sugar in this recipe but it is an easy addition.  If you drink iced tea in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning, you may have a southern gene.  Truthfully, the Mason Dixon line has little to do with this favorite of favorites that looks pretty in any setting and compliments any meal or midnight snack.










#  3  LABOR BY THE POUND     SEPTEMBER 7, 2015

Nothing beats butter, sugar, flour, eggs and vanilla.  Imagine the delight of the first cook to figure out this combo!  Whipping cream is the surprise ingredient.  This cake is tasty any hour of the day.  Be warned.  The simplicity of this cake is a false front for its twisted ability to increase consumption and waistlines.  It should be a labor to lift a bite.








A tie for #4

# 4  PROPER EASTER EGG CONSUMPTION:  THE DEVILED EGG   APRIL 21, 2014

A perfect Devilishly Good Curried Egg

Rigorous testing and measurement yield two deviled egg avenues.  The basic recipe and the devilishly good curried egg.  Simple is good but curried may be better.  Peeling the egg is always a dreaded proposition but a part of the deal.  Remember the old wives' tale.  You never have deviled egg leftovers after a shindig.












#  4  WOO PIG SOOIE PIES    OCTOBER 26, 2014
WOO PIG SOOIE PIES
















Nice juicy eyeball, squish!





























Pumpkin.  Cream cheese.  Ginger.  Fall.  The only words necessary.  Martha Stewart recipe.  Despite the labor involved, this recipe is in my limited fall lineup.  Too good to pass by.  Infact, fall just doesn't seem right without these little piggies.  They easily freeze for use on another day.  If you take them to a party, leave a few at home.  Otherwise, you will not get a bite.  My pig collection is keeping guard.







#  5
CHILI BY DISTRACTION                                          FEBRUARY 2, 2015


An interesting way to picture my delicious chili by distraction.  Cooking distracted is not advisable.  Sometimes it just happens.  This is a recipe for disaster but saved at the last moment.  Enjoyment was doubled the next day watching our annual snowfall.












#  6
GOING TO MAINE POTATO SOUP 
          OCTOBER 23, 2013

Potatoes,  Cheddar.  Sour cream.  Favorite, favorite soup.  Did I mention bacon?  Curative powers and rave reviews.  Named for my favorite place in the world!













#  7
olEYEve cheese BALLS for a YUMMY                        HALLOWEEN  APP
                       OCTOBER 29, 2013

Olive cheese balls.  My very first appetizer and also the first time I watched THE BIRDS.  Very sophisticated for a ten year old.  These scream party!!!











#  8
ONLY THE FOURTH 
OF  FEBLUEARY                        FEBRUARY 4, 2014

To warm the cockles of your heart.  My mother's spiced tea recipe.  Simple is sweet and deceptive.
















#  9
DON'T LEAVE HOME 
          WITHOUT IT
         OCTOBER 3, 2013

An admitted lover of curry.  This is a recipe anyone will love.  The chutney is the touch of piquant perfection.  Recipe from Liza Ashley, Arkansas Governor's Mansion.  Another party time highlight!















#  10  #SIZZLE - PERFECT CORNBREAD - NO STICK               GUARANTEE

November  23, 2013

My very first flight into cooking.  This is one item of perfection I enjoy.  The sizzle must not fizzle.







#  10  PERFECT CORNBREAD DRESSING - A TURKEY DAY POSTCARD

Another tie.  Why not?  It's about cornbread.  The perfect backside from a pan of cornbread.  Necessary item for delicious cornbread dressing.  Cornbread dressing is southern in all caps.  No matter where you hang your heart.  This recipe is a traditional centerpiece for any special meal.


I apologize for the crazy happening of my blog.  A very hungry gremlin made the column feature take over and I haven't figured it out, yet.  Obviously,  ha, I have hit something somewhere.  I can cook but barely compute.

Monday, September 7, 2015

LABOR BY THE POUND




The party is almost over.  The coffee for cake didn't drip.  The cake didn't flip out.  The bundt was rusty.  And looks aren't everything.

Another Labor Day will end without much hoopla or a hamburger or a lake outing.  A family reunion occurred for the sixty-second year on usually the hottest day of the year, so it seems.  Two hours to the south.  All because one family hitched up their wagons and moved all of their possessions, one step at a time.  To fertile fields.  Grass is greener.  My great-great grandmother was born days later.  Georgia to Arkansas.

I set out to bake a cake for the occasion of the reunion lunch.  When you haven't cooked in awhile you can't cook anymore.  For a bit of time.  Mixing olive oil and butter and onions and mushrooms with chicken and wine is easily tweaked.  A little salt and pepper.  This cooking gets raves but doesn't exact a toil.

Baking is unforgiving no matter how long you've been turning out perfect cornbread or Deep South Crescent Rolls.  Baking soda is not baking powder.  Hot water will kill the yeast.  Baking is an exact science for reasons I don't have to know as I am not a food editor or a meal production director with NASA.

But I love the results of baking.  Yeast bread.  Cookies. Cornbread. Cakes. Biscotti.  Cheesecake. Flour, sugar, butter and yeast are the essence of a well-lived life.

Long story short.  When the recipe calls for six eggs, add all six eggs.  Same goes for two teaspoons of vanilla.  Otherwise. you will have to jerk the cake out of the oven and add the vanilla to the batter which just went into the bundt pan and just now into the oven.  Courting disaster.
Too ugly to party
Overall, this Whipping Cream Pound Cake is delicious.  But how it ended up that way is beyond me.  I used cooking spray and flour on the nonstick surface.  But the bundt wouldn't budge.  I put it into the fridge for awhile and it finally came out onto the platter.  But it wasn't pretty and it didn't all arrive at the same time.

I went dessert free to the reunion.  I shared the cake with dinner company the night before and sent a good portion to Burt's parents.  The rest of the cake has languished in my cake carrier waiting for stolen nibbles and outrageous sliced chunks.  Too ugly to party but good enough to enjoy.

The inside of the cake pan wasn't rusted.  When the cake finally let go of the pan, I sat the pan in the sink to soften the chunks still attached.  And then company came for dinner and I forgot.  The lesson from this story is check the addition of all ingredients.  And don't forget the soaking bundt pan resting in your brand new stainless steel sink.


WHIPPING CREAM POUND CAKE      (Southern Living Recipe)

 1 c. butter
3 c. sugar
6 eggs
3 c. flour
1 c. whipping cream
2 tsp. vanilla

Cream butter and sugar for 5 minutes.  Add eggs and blend well.  Alternately blend in flour and whipping cream.  Add vanilla.  Pour into a greased and floured bundt pan.  Bake @ 325 for 75 minutes.






  

Friday, August 14, 2015

TUMPED, RATTLED AND ROLLED


This great adventure began with a surprise and a birthday for someone not easily surprised.  Early on our trip, I announced I was not giving away the location even if Burt guessed correctly.  We were traveling a busy highway with many offshoots leading to interesting destinations.  I wouldn't give him the satisfaction of figuring out my plan.  After all, I had put time and effort into this surprise adventure.  I told him to pack his basics.  I packed tricks up my sleeve.

We zoomed past the last turn off point to a big vacation spot,  We'd been traveling over two hours when he said one of the most rarely used words in his vocabulary - flabbergasted. Just hearing that word was satisfaction enough for all of my stealth.  Almost enough.  He knew I was pleased.  I told him I would tell him when we arrived.

We drove through little Arkansas towns we had only seen on the state weather map.  Ash Flat, Cherokee Village, Cave City.  Homes and businesses lining Highway 67, some more prosperous than others.  This was like the twilight zone to us, setting us down in another world in our very own state.  We do get around - except for this northeastern spot almost in Missouri.

I announced we'd arrived in the little town of Hardy, home to great canoeing, kayaking and white knuckle tubing adventures located on the Spring River.  Hunting and fishing.  The Spring River begins in Mammoth Spring, Arkansas about fifteen miles to the north.  A natural spring, eighty feet below the surface produces 9.75 million gallons of water an hour, a natural wonder producing the Spring River.  The river is 58 degrees at all times.  The river forks off in Hardy to a warmer version.

Canoe trailers are everywhere.  Kayaks are tied to car roofs.  This place is keyed into water adventures.  Tourism appears to be a healthy business.

We had canoed in college and kayaks don't match our waistlines so I had gotten us a reservation for a float down the south fork of the Spring River Saturday afternoon.  Neither one of us had ever floated or tubed down a river but children were included in the trip.  I figured it must be child-friendly and made for the novice.

My bag of tricks included special sunglass lassos, waterproof bags and food, 85 sun protection for lily white skin, and his old hat and tennis shoes and hidden swimsuits.  He was surprised again at my idea and preparation but most of all, the willingness of this summer couch potato to get into the water.

It was not a good sign when we walked up to the establishment and people were standing around complaining about the long wait for their rafting sessions to begin.  It is always good to crack open a few cold ones to cool off any tempers.  Beer and coolers, the more the merry for heading down water.  Everyone was so pleasant standing around in the 100 degree sunshine.

If I were to describe in detail our fetching attire, which we felt was necessary to protect our skin, our daughter might never speak to us.  Please don't tell RL I wore my favorite navy long sleeve blouse down the river.  Burt was asked twice if we were from Maine (t-shirt).  I do believe we had the experience of age over everyone else.  But at least we were moving.

Another questionable happening was the pile of life vests being decimated as the rafters pulled out of Dodge.  They are required to carry vests in the rafts.  No one made a point of requiring we get a vest.  After all, this was going to be a nice little float down a lazy river with a little rapid here and there.  And the remaining life vests wouldn't fit my big toe.

The rickety old van used to transport us to our river of Oz was not a good sign of corporate cohesiveness.  There were no instructions but Burt and I had seen other rivers where people looked so happy floating along, occasionally shooting through fairly shallow rapids.

The float (tube) is huge with a little canvas seat in the middle.  This is the advertised Cadillac version, seriously.  We wanted to be tethered to enjoy the experience together. I didn't want to go first because I had no clue of what I was doing.  I had packed two waterproof bags for a picnic on the river.  There were plenty of sandbars along the merry way according to the management. These bags were hanging on the tether but my float was not attached, yet.  When you sit your caboose in the float, your limbs go flying up in the air until you remember the importance of grabbing the handles.  This is the last moment of control until the lazy trip ends.  Suddenly, you are at the mercy of the river while your husband is still trying to get himself situated.

At first, the current is a good sign, the first good sign of the day.  I can still hear children getting in tubes with their parents.  But the current is carrying Burt and me further apart.  We can still see each others' faces and hear yelled conversations, but despite our best dog paddling, we can't catch up to one another.  As the lucky one who ended up going first, I'm soon around the corner and into the first little rapid.  This is so much fun!  I will try and watch Burt make his initial rapid and wait for him.

My first rapid made me realize the current was perking along.  I tried to stay steady and wait for my swimming partner but the water wouldn't let me.  I could hear him come around the corner but by then I was moving swiftly out of sight.  I yelled to him that I would wait at the next sandbar.

At one point, he yelled to me that he had tumped over.  I could only imagine the fiasco.  But at least it wasn't a canoe.  Unfortunately, he couldn't reseat himself in the tube and had to hang on top of the float, going head first into the rapids.  I knew his predicament but still had no control of my own journey, floating down the middle of the river, large sections of the river, totally alone, all alone.  I did have a few good rapids but I was worried about him.

This was his birthday treat and we were doing everything separately.  There was never a good stopping place.  I finally saw a family playing on the banks of the river.  A long set of steps went up to a house at the top of the hill.  I yelled out and asked if the water was waist deep.  The woman said yes.  She was just a couple of yards from me when I decided enough was enough.

I launched off the tube into water over my head.  I've grown up in water - chlorinated, beach, river, lake water.  I've never had this feeling before.  The tube flipped up over my head and my sunglasses and hat swam like a mass in front of my face.  I'll never forget the shadowy underwater image.  My first thought was "This is how people drown."  The undertow was my next shock.  I couldn't believe how strong the river bottom was flowing.  I say the grace of God gave my legs strength to make it to the nearby rock shelf.  I never let go of the float.  When I reached the woman and her family, my arms and hands were shaking uncontrollably.  I told them I just wanted to wait for my husband.

Burt finally arrived.   I asked the woman if those were her steps and house.  I told her I just wanted to walk up there and wait until someone could come get me.  I recalled a rough trip on the Buffalo River when I wanted a helicopter to come get me.  I told Burt I couldn't do it.  If I had had my wits, I would have let go of the float.  Whoops.  The nice woman told us the river had been closed the day before.  I could tell she wasn't impressed with the outfitter we had chosen.  We were like two fish out of the water.  She said she was always helping folks out.  She helped us get re-situated and we headed back down the river.  I never would have gotten back in if Burt hadn't had hold of my float.

For a short distance, the float was fun, going down rapids together just like I had envisioned.  But we were soon separated again and my quiet, lonely journey continued.  It seemed as if we couldn't stay together as we battled the current and the rapids.  It was a very strange sensation, going down the river with no one else in sight.  Nothing along the banks looked reliable and I was afraid of snakes.  I was stuck in the middle with no way of slowing or changing course.  Definitely not the afternoon I had expected.

Then Burt came around the corner, laying across his float, hanging on for dear life. Another rapid had tumped him overboard.  It was hard to see someone you love struggling and not be able to help.  He aimed for a rare large rock in the river and was able to right his float and get back on properly, resting in his Cadillac seat.  And then finally, the river begin to slow and we were able to get back together. We gleefully floated to the second bridge, our landmark for disembarking.  Our tour was ending.  Exhausted, we pulled the floats up on a grassy hill and I collapsed on the ground.  The picnic bag had not been sealed properly - my fault. Wrapped MM's and Kit Kats floated in the trapped river water.  My Coca Cola was salvageable but my blood sugar was going down fast.

Our chariot arrived, a van in worse shape than the first one.  Windows were loosely held on with duct tape which was a saving grace as a hole in the floor was sending noxious fumes inside.  I promised myself to just hang on, I would soon be in dry clothes.  We later laughed that maybe we were too old but scuttled that theory.  Maybe we should just stick to chlorinated water but that would cut out the beach and the lake.

Dry MM's, a Sprite, Peanut Butter crackers and a nap gave me the energy to go to dinner.  Burt met a live scorpion in the shower while I napped.  Just more excitement to the day.  We ended the day with a delicious steak dinner, watching the sunset on this part of the world, perched cliff side overlooking the river.  It wasn't our part of the river, but I looked at the rapids for as long as light would catch the white ripples.  They would be white even in the dark like the millions of gallons gushing to make a river, neverending, neverending, even in the dark.  The river represented our survival, coming through the rough waters.  But better served wearing life vests and tethered together, the best way to go down an uncharted river.










Tuesday, April 28, 2015

REMEMBER THE STUCCO

Almost raucous, three little yellow halos carrying on behind a dark round hole in a  yellow house with a tin roof, hanging by a wire from one, thus far, sturdy nail pounded into the side of a stucco patio wall.  I think of them as the Birds on a Wire Family.

This has been an event for about four weeks now, give or take a day or two.  They are hanging just outside my patio door.  If I sit in my chair, it is hard not to watch them.  In the last week, activity has certainly picked up.

I hung the house up when I first moved in.  The nail was already available. The wire caught and I took that as a good sign and a good way to get the house out of the way, never really considering the house would be taken.  The same house had sat in a different spot and never been considered.

I caught them taking selfies on their honeymoon.  They were flying up and back and up and back to get a good shot of this great starter home tucked away in a corner.  They really couldn't believe their good luck.  Seemingly perfect.  So nerve wracking to find that first home which will welcome little ones.  Of course, it did need some work and days were spent bringing in supplies.  I don't know where they got their energy.  Sometimes, brush would be twice the bird's length.  I think they are brown wrens.

With great endeavor, the pictures were hung and activity ceased.  Papa would bring in a tidbit of lunch and reach into the hole to check on progress.  I could walk up to within a couple of feet of the house and look in, only to see two beedy bird eyes looking out at me.  Papa would often come to stand on the door handle turned perch.  After much discussion, he would give up and fly away.  Those last few days are very tricky.  Ask any mother-to-be.

I knew when the day arrived.  Papa was all over the place.  Trying to be in the house and shooed out, flying back and forth to the nearby fence.  Much conversation, to be sure.  I can only imagine the numbers of times he was informed that he really had "no idea" or he was told he wasn't needed or that he should have paid attention during the birthing classes instead of making jokes with his friend who also was there to learn just how to help their little mothers.

If I thought they were busy before, I was wrong.  Now, just watching made me breathless.  Like a tag team, they spent days going back and forth with succulent bird nutrition, reminding me of other new parents carrying for a new child with bottles and formula and clinking baby food jars.  Raising youngins is serious business.

On rainy days, I saw sopping wet birds bring food in and carrying out trash.  And sometimes, I figured that Mama Bird was ready to fly over to the nearby Starbucks and order a Tall Latte with one regular sugar and put her feet up.  But no.  They both were steady in their vigil.  Those babies were eating them out of house and home.  By now, they must be as big as little piglets.  I don't know how they will manage to budge themselves out of the little house and fly.  But I saw one beak poking out of the front and I imagine it won't be long.

That little house of constant activity lies close to peril.  A day ago, I saw a hawk fly just above the roof line.  Of course, Mama and Papa were all about that and sending out warnings.   Fear and trepidation entered my life.  Oh no.  What if?  I wasn't prepared for this or the baby squirrel the hawk dropped just outside the edge of the patio.  I tried to do what I could but nothing would help.  This is the wild, living on my patio in the middle of the city.  I can't do anything to interfere.  Can three baby birds make it, successfully?

Pray for the stucco.  The house is sturdy.  The wire is strong for hanging.  The nail looks thick.  But none of that matters if the stucco doesn't hold.  The little home is security and warmth.  The wire and nail necessary to add to protection.  The nail is hammered into a base which holds everything up.  Remember the stucco.

Baby birds flying off.  Fly Baby Bird, fly.  Leave the nest and keep going.  Give it everything. Presenting world and new and possibility.  Trust the wings. Carry the love bestowed on you so diligently as you were becoming.  As you become.

Not one sparrow shall fall to the ground without God knowing it.   Matthew 10:29

Tuesday, April 14, 2015

A CANDY BAR AND A LIQUOR STORE SAVED MY LIFE

This is the truth, as I see it.  It's not very often that a Sunday School Teacher of good standing confesses a liquor store and a candy bar helped save her life.  But those two combined forces worked for my good on a very scary, stormy afternoon.

I'm not afraid of spiders or bugs or standing on the observation deck of The Empire State Building. Or going to the doctor or owning a black cat.  I will eat Oysters in a month without an R but the flavor is not there.  I never met a stranger I didn't like because you can always count on the kindness of strangers.  Crowds can be iffy but necessary.  Absolutely, my least favorite things are the dark and fast moving storms behaving poorly.  Living on the curb of tornado alley all of my life, spring is usually very dark and stormy.

The disquieting fact is tornadoes can occur in any month of the year.  My first experience came on a warm, sticky December day.  With sirens blaring and the wind kicking up, my new employer, who was with a client, told me to go outside and check the weather.

I've always wondered why people stand in the yard looking.  But all of my twenty-two years didn't prepare me for looking away.  I just stood there watching a churning black green cloud go straight for the hospital.  Cars were still driving up and down the busy thoroughfare.  And then a complete 90 degree turn to the north turned the funnel cloud away and up across several neighborhoods.  But not into the hospital.  My knees were wobbly for the rest of the day.

I know the color of the sky, the heavy air, the ache in the bones, the smell of the rain.   When it is "tornado season" I plan my trips according to the expected weather.  On this day, I even called ahead before starting my tour northward.  But it is the little bits that just blow up unexpectedly.

After a quick Coke break, I noticed a slight grey green tinge to the sky.  The air was heavy with moisture.  But the cars headed east did not have their wipers on.  A good sign.  I continued west.   Maybe the sky was getting darker.  Then a large flash of nearby lightening caught my attention. Surprise.

I have travelled this interstate a thousand times in my life.  Every pocket of civilization is blazed into memory.  I know where old barns leaned sideways and then into the ground.  The never ending construction of a house built in odd sections with gaping siding, loose insulation and pocked paint, with a rusty playset and bikes littering the abandoned life once lived just yards from a busy interstate.  A meat processing plant - deer, cattle, hog - now just tumbled bricks after a fire.  A religious cult living on a hilltop ridge just miles from the cult's gas station where unsuspecting college girls stop to get gas and are amazed by fancy painted leather jackets and friendly conversation.  Evidently, Jesus never got the cult's peculiar message.  A sparkling new subdivision erases former owners.

Even with all of my knowledge of this highway to the Pacific (almost) I pause too long to ponder and pass the last exit for 13.85 miles - an eternity in a horrible storm.  Just a nice stretch of land for farming and cattle.  Hunkered down cattle are never a good sign.  And trees bending near the earth and a lack of highway traffic except for the few idiots who miss their exit.

And wind.  Big time wind, shaking the car.  And swirling clouds almost overhead dancing "maybe we are, maybe we aren't."  I kept waiting for broken trees to go flying across the road.  Did I mention that funny light which sometimes has a tinge of pink.

But that is not all that is shaking.  Somehow I have managed to call my navigator for a weather report.  But I can hardly hang on to the steering (loose term) wheel at this point and talk so I have put the phone down and I'm yelling in the car.  My body starts shaking with the most physical fear I have ever felt.  I never want to be that scared again, ever.  I don't want to pull off the road because I think heading forward will lead me out of the storm at some point.

My hands are gripped on the steering wheel but are shaking so badly it feels like I'm hanging on to the handle bars of The Runaway Mine Train at Six Flags.  The body shakes are only adding to my fear as I scream out to my navigator everything I'm feeling.  I'm sure it wasn't easy having to listen to the sheer terror in my voice.

Navigator shares his info which is not good for me.  I'm driving right into a horrible storm.

Then I start bargaining with God.  We are closely related and I'm not always a quiet prayer lady.  Especially when sharks are in the water when I'm in the water or a storm is imminent.  Thank you, Jesus and Hallelujah are not usually light utterances.

Of course, I am now screaming prayers.  Maybe He can't hear me over the storm.  Asking God to help me breath because it does make a difference.  Asking for protection and please not to roll into the median.  Asking for my body to quit shaking so I can drive better.  And then I hit the big thought.

All in quotes and caps.  Dear Lord, please stick this car to the ground.  For the first time in my life, use my weighted body to hold this car down.  God, I'm not skinny!   For once, use this to my advantage.  Make all of those Butterfingers worth their weight in gold.

Butterfingers are my favorite candy but only as a candy not as an ingredient.  I lost a lot of weight over 15 years ago and have kept it off.  But occasionally, I treat myself to a Butterfinger because I love them and I have done better not living in deprivation than dieting in starvation dreaming of denied foods.  Just knowing I can have one takes away the obsession.  But I have eaten plenty in my time.

So this is why I declare Butterfingers are sticking the car to the road, making it heavy, heavy, heavy.  Obviously, it did the trick and God heard my prayers.  Maybe pause to think about his crazy child confessing to years of eating the candy.  Duh.

The handy navigator is encouraging me along each mile and finally announces the much hoped for, blessed exit.  I drive straight to the liquor store and run inside. I am still shaking from top to bottom.   The men inside are casually watching the weather on t.v. but aren't too concerned, however, they are solicitous of this wild woman screaming for a Butterfinger.  After thirty minutes of walking the aisles, nerves are calming and I find a nice bottle of Kahlua, a thank you purchase for the shelter.

This week, storms are already predicted.  We are right in the bulls eye as an "area of concern" on Thursday.  I intend to stock up on Butterfingers.  I figure when the storms cross the state line (I live in the middle of the state),  I'll pour a nice dollop of Kahlua over my vanilla ice cream, crumble the candy over the top and head for the storm shelter (bathtub).